Closure

Author Thomas Wolfe’s novel “You Can’t Go Home Again” brought the ultimate realization to his character George Webber, of how some events affect your life permanently. Often times as a person’s life unfolds they must face realities that will leave them knowing things will never be the same.

Recently I had been thinking about my time in the military and wondered how things might have been different, had I stayed in the Air Force. I can only imagine what those experiences through the years would have been like and how my life would be today. There was even a period of my life when I was an “Air Guard” minuteman. That was when I was a part of the Indiana Air National Guard. I have asked myself several times, over the years; “Should I become a part of the Air National Guard again”? Did I accomplish everything I should have or is there still more duty to serve.

So, a few weeks back I phoned a recruiter at the local Air Guard base to ask some very specific questions. I explained that I was prior Air Force and Air Guard. I stated how many years I was in and the career field I occupied. We discussed my age and looked at the time remaining until the mandatory retirement time. I quickly learned that as far as the Guard is concerned I was eligible to return but only under certain conditions. Upon further discussion, the recruiter advised me that my former career field was no longer an option. That clearly meant that I would need to spend a minimum of six weeks at a technical school or perhaps longer.

I guess that’s when I realized that this was not going to be for me again. With everything, there is a cost and I was not willing to pay the price of time or energy. I did not want to start over. There may have even been other restrictions but I did not explore them further. My time and experiences in the military was a real blessing and I have some fond memories. It was an honor to serve, but I knew beyond doubt that part of my life had finally ended.

Armed with the answers I received; I now knew the outcome and could finally have complete closure with this ongoing urge. I had burnt my military bridge many years ago and had not even realized it was gone. Therefore, whatever ideas I may have had in my mind there would be no return. For that, part of my life there would never again be a need to rethink the decision I made years ago. It was finished!

Sometimes in life, there are paths we take that lead us down a road that turns out differently than expected. Perhaps, if given the opportunity we would follow a much different course that might change the outcome. We all wonder from time to time if our decisions were the right ones. But, eventually it is important to close certain doors so that new ones may open. But, I think what really helps is when you are finally able to close the door of wonder. It truly gives you closure and a new perspective as you continue on your journey for the remainder of your life. Maybe you can’t go home again because home is where you are now.